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Grandpa’s Shop

Let’s take a look back into my competition soccer days. Running laps.

You could always find me 13,000 miles behind everyone else. OK.. maybe I was not ever THAT far behind, but you get the gist; I hated it. It also didn’t help that I probably looked like Wormtail from Harry Potter.


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“Hey guys, wait up!!”


I’m not a good runner nor have I ever been! But- I did it. I always finished even if I had to stop to barf somewhere along the way. Wow, what an attractive picture this whole last paragraph just painted, I am such a beautiful woman! I might as well end this blog post here and leave it at that; I will have so many followers now.

The point I am getting at is that life is not always fun. Sometimes it is a walk,  sometimes it is a run. And the last few months have definitely been a run for little old me. This post is #1 of the yucky run saga, so please enjoy.

“When I got home from House of DVF..”- this is a phrase I feel I’ve used in my blog posts a billion times, so here I go using it again. But when I got home, I was very out of sorts. You see, I left to New York thinking I was going to be there for at least a month (since that is what I was told by production). So my husband and I decided it would be best for us to pack up our lives and put everything into storage, so he could stay with his parents while I was gone; I didn’t want him to be alone. We were going to move to a new place when I got done with my DVF shenanigans.

So it was quite the surprise when I was only in New York for a whopping 4 days! Wow. We really packed up our lives for this? And were then instantly homeless. So we camped out at the in-laws house for a few days. It was then that my sweet grandpa started getting very sick. He had been sick for years but this time I knew it was much more serious. I couldn’t handle it, I tried to just ignore it for so long, but it got to the point where I realized grandpa wouldn’t be here much longer. I wouldn’t be able to walk into his shop and give him a big hug. I wouldn’t be able to hear him saying “I just want you to remember how much we love you, we pray for you every day. We sure are lucky to have our Codi.” While his shaky hand held mine and his big eyes filled with tears. I couldn’t take it. My heart felt like it was being crushed, smashed and ripped into a billion pieces.

 Grandpa was the kindest person I’ve ever known; he was always looking out for everyone’s well being and happiness over his own. For the last 10 or so years of his life grandpa was wheelchair bound due to his neuropathy. He got depressed often because he could no longer do service (to the extent he would like) for others. He was the ultimate fix it man, grandpa knew how to build or fix just about anything. But what always impressed me most was his ability to build people up, and fix broken hearts. There was not a soul he didn’t treat like they were the most special person in the world; especially grandma.


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As my marriage was winding down, I remember walking into grandpa’s room to talk to him. He laid there, sick, pale and thin, yet the first thing out of his mouth was “You just hang in there sweetie, everything is going to be alright.” I sat next to his bed and held his hand while I cried like a baby. It was my regular routine for weeks on end- I still don’t know where all of that water came from. I was just so confused and so heartbroken. Trying to piece together a relationship that was hurting my very being, while trying to cope with saying goodbye to grandpa. He looked at me and said, “Code, look at me and grandma. Have you ever seen grandma upset like this? I do everything I possibly can to make her happy, and you deserve that too.” then he laughed and said ” Well.. maybe don’t look at me and grandma the last few years, because she has had to do everything for me!” referring to how she had to physically do everything for him. This should have made me laugh, but it made me cry harder because of how cute he was. Always trying to make others laugh, and always looking on the bright side even when things looked pretty dang dark. I’ll never forget what he said to me that day though, I do want the same relationship that grandma and grandpa had. More than anything.

Not even just solely their relationship, but I want someone who is always thinking and doing kind things for others, and not just for me. Grandpa was a perfect example of this form of Christlike love. And I think it draws a neat parallel to how talented he was with woodworking, and fixing things. He has a whole shop full of tools; all used to mend things that are broken, and create objects to use for some purpose or another. The shop is in essence, just like grandpa. And also just like Christ- it’s whole purpose is to mend and to create. And tools cannot serve their purpose unless they are in the hands of someone who knows how to use them.


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Grandpa’s shop

Sweater: Thrifted

Skirt: Shabby Apple- Waltzing Matilda

Bracelet: Tarina Tarantino


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“Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself”


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Jacket: Thrifted (sorry I thrift too much, get off my back!)


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I’d be lying if I said being in the shop without grandpa there was easy. It’s just not quite the same.


When I stepped into the shop it was very cold, so I flipped on the old heater. It groaned to life and that stale smell of burning dust filled the room. It started to warm up as I set up my tripod. As it got warmer in there, memories started coming to mind. And it helped me think of all the joy and warmth he brought to not only grandma, but the rest of our family and numerous other people. It reminded me what I want to strive to be, not only for myself but for my future family. And I want someone by my side who will build me up to be a better me each day.

I’m holding my standard of men wwaaayy up on grandpa’s level; I want to marry someone who carries the same virtues and kindness as him. I want to constantly feel the way he made every one around him feel; loved valued and special. I want to use the tools I have been given in life to do good wherever I go. And I can’t wait to find the man who has his own “shop full of tools” to build up those around him. I am so incredibly grateful for the amazing example I have in my sweet grandpa.


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So now if you’re feeling sad or nostalgic or something like I was, don’t be. Scroll back up to the top of this post and look at the picture of Wormtail again.

Till next time my friends!

Codi

Not Too Shabby

Hey, I am back!

And I am going back in time.. to when I got home from House of DVF.

I am going to be honest- keeping up with a blog is tough stuff for me. Especially when I am writing on the past and reflecting back on things that have already happened.. and were also rough on me. It is also hard with my school projects and photo gigs that are piling up like dirty laundry! Eeeek! I need a life manager, anyone interested in filling this position?? If so contact me at codineedsmajorhelp@aintnobodygottimefothat.com, thanks!

So. I am going to go ahead and start with my outfit deets from House of DVF. Just jumping right in.


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I exited House of DVF in a whole lot of Shabby Apple goodness!

Sweater- Bielby sweater 

Skirt- Bloom Skirt (in mint)


Is it so wrong that I just wore this outfit again this week, in the cold winter weather? No, the colors make me too happy, go away winter, no one likes you!

Shabby Apple is great for so many reasons. 1. It is all super modest and fashionable. I don’t have to worry about wearing anything under or over any of my Shabby Apple clothing. 2. It is owned and run by the SWEETEST people. They are super professional, kind and just plain awesome! 3. Um. Just go take a look for yourself. I have an eye on the Athelia Skirt right now.. hoping to wear it to my next royal ball of course!


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Shabby Apple clothes have the tendency to make me feel like a princess..even when I am playing dress up in my room.

Necklace: Katie Waltman Jewelry


So go check them out and give them some love! Though I was sent home from House of DVF, at least I walked out in style!

Speaking of being sent home, I’d like to write a little love note to my girl Tiffani.

Tiffani went home on this last Sunday’s episode. I sure love this girl! I think we are soul sisters. I mean, not just because we were both grungy concert-attending teens at one point in our lives. But I also think we sort of have the same sense of humor. One of the times I was in NY to film I met up with Tiff one night to grab dinner. We went down to a little diner and talked about how we each had found out about House of DVF. Turns out we were the only two who found out about the opportunity from Craigslist and Facebook. So this must mean we are both very classy ladies.. or just very lucky haha! I think we are similar in the way that this opportunity was very unreal to us. From our upbringings, to where we live; I don’t think either of us had ever expected to get an opportunity like this in life ( at least not at this age). Something like this seemed almost unattainable, it was sort of like we had found a Golden Ticket!


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Love this girl like a sister!


As we sat at the diner eating, we started coming up with ideas of funny things we wanted to do. Ok, so whenever something crazy happened we were supposed to let the producers know so they wouldn’t miss any good footage. Tiff and I decided it would be wise if we set up a little skit. We were going to call them and say something along the lines of  “Woah, there is a huge fight going on right now on the 10th floor! Kier and Abs are having a legit sword fight. Brittany knocked Lenore out and Jinna is egging them on! Amanda is wrestling with Rhianna and Coco.. and we don’t even know why they are back.. and to top it off DVF is sitting in the middle of it all crying!!” Ok, maybe I elaborated that a bit.. but we were going to say something similar hahah. So then when the crew would come rushing up to the 10th floor of the hotel, Tiff and I would have a boombox set up playing some goofy song. And we would come out doing a choreographed dance in our footie pajamas. Oh my gosh, I’m still mad we never got to follow through with this plan. It would have been the best!! But let’s be honest, they would have cut the footage to make it look like we showed up to our first day of work in our footie pajamas, and it was super unprofessional of us. Then it would cut to a scene of me crying saying “Footie Pajamas are power!” I can just see it now!

After Tiffani and I ate we walked over to Rite Aid to get some snacks. We pulled around those funny little baskets and filled them with really healthy choices like chocolate candy and chips. We spent a good while looking at the cheap makeup and talked about life. I remember Tiff saying something about makeup, and she was going to make sure her makeup was flawless through the show so she could hopefully get some modeling gigs. Um, her makeup could be smeared all over her face and she would still look gorgeous! You New York people better utilize little Tiff’s gorgeous self for some modeling before she gets snatched right up by some big agency! If I lived in NY she would be my model of choice on the daily!


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Why is she so perfect??


Tiff is also an AMAZING singer. Would you ever have guessed? She needs to record her stuff asap. You would all drool over her voice. I guess it’s just not fair she got blessed with so many great qualities. She’s only 19, and Tiff is going to go far in life!! I am so proud of her, and so grateful I got to know her and now have such a great friend; the little sister I never had!

Tiffani really made an impact on me when we were in the middle of filming. There was a moment off camera when she came up to me and gave me a big hug. She said something like “I’m so glad you’re here. This whole thing is going to be really hard and stressful. It is nice to know there is someone like you here I know will be there for me when things get tough.” Just that sentence made my whole day. It made me feel needed and important. Tiffani is the perfect example of someone who is taking control over where her life goes no matter what set of cards she is dealt. She is such sweet, beautiful girl and I am so excited to hear about her new adventure working at the DVF store!!

Go read her departure blog here. You won’t regret it!

Tiffani was on my mind a LOT once I got home from NY and started going through the bumpiest final patches of my marriage, and the last days spent with my grandpa before he passed. Watching Tiff’s successes and growth, I knew I could get through my trials as well and come out on top. My next post will be on these very personal and life changing trials I went through (and some rad leather bags that you will want to snatch right up), so make sure to check back next week!

Thanks for reading, til next time!

Love, Codi